The Wind is Blowin in some Change...

First things first, CUBS SPANKED the Mets last nite! a 10-1 win! With a Grand Slam by Ramirez! Awesome game to be at, especially after the heart-breaking walk-in loss the nite before. Sweet, Sweet victory..... but 2 more to go.

now on to really what i want to write about today.

have you ever woke up to a text message saying pretty much this "Get your ass to work now, case was settled, we probably don't have jobs anymore"?

Yeah well that is how my day started off yesterday. I jumped out of bed and seriously showered and dressed in like 10 minutes and flew out the door. As of now, I still have of job....but everything is still up in the air. I could walk in tomorrow and not have a job or it could be another week or month or until the end of the summer, we really have no clue.

I like change - when its on MY TERMS. I am a risk-taker, when I know that the benefits will probably outweigh any losses. (so really not a risk-taker - ha). Change is definitely good and I don't mind it, just sometimes it takes me awhile to get my mind around a situation and fully grasp what is going and what needs to be done. My life as I know it (my work life that is, which is pretty much 80 hours of my week - so a big chunk of my life) will change soon, and maybe sooner than I would like it to and maybe even not on my terms.

Someone said to me last nite - You are a strong person, one of the things I like about you.
And I am, very much so. But sometimes strong people, break and crumble and fall to pieces and sometimes strong people need someone to pick them up or just give them a hug. I also believe that a strong person who truly knows who they are will let others be there for them when the really need it. I can get through just about anything on my own, but there are many times when I fall back on the ones that love me and care about me.

Last nite, after the FABULOUS CUBS WIN that took my mind off things for awhile, I started to feel my world crumbling a bit, feeling like my life could be turned upside down on a moments notice. I don't like feeling helpless and not in control. And that is how I feel right now. It is time for change and time for me to get my ducks in a row to make that change...

I want the change to be on MY TERMS not theirs....

slowly my mind is wrapping itself around this and slowly i am bouncing back and understanding what needs to get done....but honestly right now, i am shaken and freaking out.

but as always i will be alright.

from the game last nite: