I never loved nobody fully...

the opening lines to this song describes me soo well. "I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground and by protecting my heart truly I got lost in the sounds, I hear in my mind..."

why am i so guarded? a cumulation of many things over the years i suppose... but for some reason i am worst than most girls.

my mom asked me a few weeks ago "karin what made you this way?" and then she said "it makes me sad, i am so sorry you ended up this way." Jaded - i guess is what i am - you could say. But i told her back, "mom its ok, it's made me who i am and i am very very ok with who i am and who i have become." she said "i know, i just want you to love."

i have loved, i have let myself love. and every time i do i get hurt and hurt bad. i wouldn't say my most recent heart break was love but i let him in and my heart is tender oh so tender from it, after hearing something recently - its more tender than what i thought it was. which means for anyone else out there trying to get in the wall is high and mighty...

i just said the other day i need to be more vulnerable to matters of the heart to move on...i am not so sure i can do that. it hurts to much. hurts way too much.



I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never, ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never, ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never, ever saw you
Suppose you never, ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better

Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All of hese voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind
All of this music
And it breaks my heart
And It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind
All of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind
All of this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart
when it breaks my heart
it breaks my heart
when it breaks my heart
when it breaks my heart