I'll Be Home for Christmas...

(written on the airplane Christmas Eve flying to Iowa..)

It seems my life has taken me many places I never imagined it could at 28 years old. When I tell my "tale" to strangers, new friends, acquaintances they stare at me with amazement and they are unbelieving of the opportunities I have encountered. Do I really feel it is that amazing? NO not really...but that is partially because I have not yet achieved what I want career wise...but I know I am a lucky girl.

However, I question "What do I really want to do?" I know I could be a brilliant lawyer if I really tried and found a good job, but do I want that anymore? I have it in me, I know I do, but do I want too...Do I want to be a writer instead? Do I want to be a fashion designer instead? Maybe....just maybe...who knows...I am 28 and have 8 years of college education 3 degrees, shouldn't I know what I want to do???

Anyways, as my flight lifts off from NYC, I realize the is no other place I would rather be or live right now. Yes, I love Europe and the Netherlands, and I would go back there and live in a heartbeat, but NYC...NYC...

Again back to my tale, I have not had it bad at all - living in Salzburg, Austria, the Netherlands, Massachusetts, California, time in Greece - my life has been full of opportunities, chances and adventures - lucky I am. New York City has captured me - to its fullest. I am entranced but NYC's ever enchanting lifestyle - the people you meet, the hustle and bustle, the never ending list of new things to do. I am in love for the first time in my life and it is with New York City.

Going "home" to Iowa for Christmas on Christmas Eve to surprise my parents - made me realize that my life has been nothing BUT everything I wished, hoped and thought it could be. The things that have pranced in and out of my life during my short time thus far in NYC are nothing I could ever fathom - men, friends, circumstances, jobs, apartments - all of it has changed me. For the better or for the worse, that is only for God to judge. But on this Christmas Eve day as I fly to Iowa I am a different woman than the woman that walked through my parents door a year ago. I am more beautiful, more confident, more complicated, happier, harder, more experienced, believing less in love than ever, making 4 times more $$, more in debt, my body has changed for better and a little bit for the worse, I am older, wiser.... Is that Iowa girl still there in me? NOT sure - Iowa seems like a distant memory.

I have had things happen to me that I thought never would occur, I have made decisions I never thought I would make. I make more $$ than my parents combined but yet still live pay check to pay check... again all relating back to my blog page title "Who am I?" I am becoming a woman, building me... I know who I am, do you?

Home from Christmas... home, home, home is NYC now. But Christmas without my parents is not Christmas, thus I have embarked on this tiresome adventure to surprise them and bring them tears of joy. Between yesterday and today, I have spent 3 hours in my car driving to Massachusetts Saturday morning, 3.5 hours on a train back to NYC Saturday nite, a sleepless nite and a semi-lonely holiday weekend. So far today I spent 3 hours sitting in LaGuardia Airport and now I have at least 3 hours of plane rides ahead of me and a layover in Chicago (plus flying home to NYC late wed nite) - see this is the first year my parents were going to spend Christmas alone - so I found a fairly cheap flight and now I am off to land on their doorstep at about 7pm tonite to surprise them.

I'll be Home for Christmas...I guess home is NYC but home is also with my parents - it will be a complete and total surprise - I hope it is joyful.

Life has changed me a bit in the past few months...taken a toll on me...the twists and turns of my life have changed me BUT I am Karin.... one thing I hold true too - Is ME! I am ME, not matter what...

I"ll be home for Christmas...